IN TWO MINDS

‘Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go
And at the same time had the feeling that you wanted to stay’


Computer science engineering is always a trade off. Some of the greatest minds always strive to obtain the optimal code the best possible algorithm but invariably what they end up achieving is a compromise. They solution is almost always implementation dependent. So we end up with an “optimal” solution for a “particular” test case. So when all is said and done, it is always a ‘trade off’. Its is always about weighing the pros and the cons. It is about choosing one of the many correct paths.

Cut to real life and we have an almost same story. We are always in two minds. We always wanted the best of both lives and curse faith for making us choose one. Some may argue it is like having your cake and wanting to eat it also others may counter argue it is like having either cake or cookies but not both.

But many times it is not about choosing between two good things, invariably we have to choose the lesser of two evils, also no matter what decision we take it will leave someone heart broken and will make us the villain. It is as if we make one decision and are forced to stick with it, but all the time we wish that we had taken the other available path knowing fully well that the other path would have also led to this mind set of regret.

Yes there are a few who always know which path to traverse when they reach a crossroad. They decide; they stick to it; they face the consequences with no regret. But this is also true that such men are a rare breed. But for the majority of us are always in two minds. May be this is what separates the focused for the unfocused, the believers from the quitters, the leaders from the followers and the winners from the losers.

But many times it is not within our control. It is just human nature. It is human to want more and imagine ‘what if?’, also it is human nature to hope against hope and believe that no matter what I will end up fine.

Then again winners are not just mere human beings. They are ‘winners’.

‘Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to win
And at the same time had the feeling that you wanted to lose’