I AM ALL ALONE

Well as things turned out instead of spending the summer in Hyderabad I was left lurching in the dark ( a bit too melodramatic :P). So not knowing what to do, I decided to spend the summer in my hostel by ‘studying’ (pun intended) for my upcoming placement session.

So after a grueling 6^th semester when we were tested to our core (again being melodramaticJJ) I was left in no man’s land with very few human souls in sight. So after amazingly fighting off the rigid opposition by my mother I was finally all alone.

Well this is only the beginning of a long journey of solitude. Quite frankly I am excited because this is the first time I will be completely on my own without the comfort of family or friends. Being all alone is a process of self discovery and rediscovery. In such a situation you are free from the unwanted opinion of others, you are free to think straight as your thought is the only one that falls on your ears. You are free to explore unexplored paths and find out what you really want.

The environment I am in has been favored by great mind like William Wordsworth, great leaders like Winston Churchill. In fact if you think of it at some time or the other every soul irrespective of how big or small he is needs and invariably takes out time to introspect. So why not give it a try.

Well I agree that you need to have people around you who are more experienced and wiser, who guide you through thin and thick. But once a while no formula irrespective of how much it is tried and tested will fail. This is where your personal innovation, your inner gut feeling comes into play. Moments like these where you have to make the decision all by your own are the ones which really test you. It is for tests like this that being alone is very important (or at least I think it so).

After writing so much I cannot help to remember the words of one of my friends-‘Solitude is enjoyable for two days but not for a single second more’.

Hopefully I will not discover it to be like this.

MICROSOFT UNCONQUERED

‘Unconquered’- this was not the word I was hoping to use once everything was said and done. But life has a funny way of springing up surprises, and this time it was not a very pleasant surprise. I had actually thought of the title ‘Microsoft Conquered’ (after reading a post of a fellow blogger with the same name) but for now I will have to deal with these the extra two letters.

After a procedure which was delayed so much that no logic could explain it, I was left high and dry. For nearly two months I was entailed in a quest which was to end with me empty handed. So as it turned out after three trips to ‘the city of joy’, after fighting off a trinamool bandh and spending a night in a dirty dormitory, I ended up from where I started. In short I DIDN’T GET THROUGH.

Sorry for sounding like a sour loser but could not help it. But now that I have a chance to look back I do feel better. Yes it would have been great if I had got through, but the truth is it didn’t happen so simply get over it and prepare for the future. It’s easier said than done but I accept it as life is never quite easy. My initial reaction was that the sky had fallen but now I realize how naïve of me to allow this minor set back affect me.

Then it struck me ‘Failure is the stepping stone to success’. I never wanted to fail but I did, now the best I can do is use it for my self improvement. It is a awful feeling and I will do anything not to feel this way again. So there you had it, my new found inspiration.

How I mould myself and use this failure to my advantage is a thing of the future. For now the most valuable lesson I have learnt is to be content with what you have. It is good that one desires to be better and strives for success, but win or lose always be happy with the result. No point stressing yourself out trying to win always because quite frankly you CANNOT win them all. So savor what you have. Also ‘He has a plan for everyone’( from the movie Constantine), so don’t worry too much just keep doing what you love to do.

I realized this very deeply that this test was just one of the numerous i will be taking. Just like all the ones i had taken and the ones i will be taking this was not FINAL. Neither were the damaged unrepairable nor the possible fruits permanent. It was just a one off thing which will come back.

So what if I lost out on a 7 digit paycheck, in the words of my friends

I LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY