I AM WHAT I AM

In this weird world where every fat guy wants to be slim, every slim person wants to be muscular, every curly haired girl wants to have straight hair and every straight hair girl wants to have blue eyes it is every difficult is accepting yourself for simply what you are. In this world where every body wants to be somebody else true happiness can be achieved only by loving yourself.

We somehow always manage to live life the way others want us to live it. We may proudly proclaim that ‘I live life on my own term’ but the truth is something really different. For like it or not respect is social and to achieve this we many times mould ourselves into being what others want us to be. Thus we end up not being honest with ourselves and always undergoing a struggle with our inner self.

Social scrutiny is unavoidable. We do live in a society and this mean society has some norms which we have to follow. Many such rules are highly essential and form the very essence of our social existence. Such rules prevent us from infringing on the private space of others and allow us to live in a civilized manner. But one man’s bread is another’s poison.

What society claims to be civilized rules, may turn up to be unacceptable to certain extraordinary individuals. Such people who lay there own rules find themselves cramped because society expects them to be something that they are not. To avoid social scrutiny one has succumb to such regulations but sooner or later the call of rebellion from inside overcomes the fear of social boycott and these rebels find themselves in a battle against the society.

This war may seem to be for a lost cause. How can the might one a single individual change the social order. But time and time again a new world order has come into existence and such new ideologies have always found their root from a single individual. It all a matter of believing in your self and the fact that “I AM WHAT I AM”, no point in trying to change it as sooner or later it will fail. But if we change the society which is plagued with a false sense of righteousness we will definitely succeed

He who falls in love with himself has no competition.

PLANNING AHEAD

‘In life things never turn out exactly the way you plan them’

The above line is the closing observation of one of my all time favorite show. The show is a heart touching portrayal of the daily life of a confused boy. It is the story of his adolescence life and how life in its own weird way moulds him into the person that he eventually becomes.

The lead protagonist had it all figured out at a very early stage. He knew exactly what he wanted and how he was going to get there. But as the story unfolded he found many instances when things did not exactly go ‘according to the plan’. At numerous occasions he was at bay. In the end after numerous twists and turns he did not exactly get what he intended to but had a reasonably happy ending never the less. Today I, and I am guessing even my readers, can empathize with him.

I am at a crossroad of my life. I have numerous options, but I have it ‘all figured out’. I am almost sure that I know not just how to talk the walk but also walk the talk .But seeing how things have unfolded recently I can’t help but ponder as to whether planning ahead will do me any good? Will going with the flow serve me better? The thing is I can already feel the strange way in which life operates. You are many times sure of a few things, a few people, and a few achievements but as time takes its toll they end up becoming either trivial or unacceptably different. Ironically a few non-planned and undesired occurrences leave their ever lasting impressions on you.

So what is life trying to say to us? Keep your eyes and ears open; allow things to follow their natural order and allow your gut instincts to dictate your movements. If this is true then what about preparation, labor and ‘planning’?

I guess the desire to perform is what matters the most. Many times we plan a bit too audaciously and do not back it up with the required effort, hence are left with egg on our faces. But I have, and I am guessing even you, have encountered a true winner in life who is a perfectionist and achieves what he plans. His single minded focus and maturity allows him to achieve exactly what he wants.

Such people are a rare bread but they do exist.

Planning your future and aspiring big is an audacious task. Do it only if you can follow it with hard labor

ME n MY BIHARI FRIENDS

“Do not mix with bihari people, stay aloof”, instructions like this and several others in the same line was hammered into my ears about four years ago. Ever since I got lucky and got into a good engineering college in Jharkhand (erstwhile Bihar) ever acquaintance of mine did not hesitate from giving me the very same advice over and over again.

“Which engineering college did you get into?” would be the question, barely would I have finished my reply then spat comes the statement of shock “Its in Bihar !, be careful”. “It is actually in Jharkhand” was my automated answer to this common misapprehension.

As the days rolled by, this common opinion did affect me. Unaware of what life had installed for me I started my journey, little did I know how wrong common perceptions are.

In the beginning I stayed aloof but then it happened. May be it was destiny but from friendly smiles in the hostel lobby to introductions which involved using ‘nics’ and wit rather than your place of origin, from meaningless gossip which involved numerous people squeezed into one 10 X 10 room (God only knows how!) to fights in the cricket field over umpiring decisions, things just started to happen. One thing lead to another and there I was with my new formed gang of friends. Although it took me some time to notice but almost all my friends were biharis. Ironically the only other ethnicity I was friends with was Bengali, arguably the second most dreaded ethnicity of the country.

So there I was a misfit by text book definitions. But life is not about not following stereotypes; it is about creating your own rules. So I jumped the bridge, free from all social reserves and end result was true friendship.

Don’t get me wrong. This has not been a fairytale affair. There have been the usual ups and downs. There have been times when I felt that it would have been best if I never came here and never meet the people I met, there have been arguments, criticism, leg pulling, embarrassment, abuses, cynicism and all other negative emotions possible in all possible quantities. But then there have also been some really good times, numerous night outs, birthday bashes, placement treats, simple casual banters on the mess table or serious discussion about life in general, all of which leave you with the notion that you have friends you can depend on. Irrespective of what happened I know this much that what ever happened, the positives as well as the negatives, was because of my doing, my karma. It was a culmination of the person I am and the persons I am a part of and ethnicity had very little to do with it.

If I was given the ability to reverse the arms of clock and change time I will give it a pass. I am what I am. The things that have happened have made be different, for better or worse only time will tell, but I willing to take that chance. I have installed a few qualities within myself which I shall cherish forever, and I would have never learned them if it was not for the company I have. A few things are for sure, no one can indulge like a bihari can, no one can abuse like a bihari can, no one can care like a bihari can. So here I am proudly proclaiming that life would have been less eventful if it was not for my biharis friends.

May be I got lucky. It might be that the best of people who just happen to be biharis became associated with me. That may be true but I think it is fare that this ethnicity is given a fair chance to present their case before declaring the verdict.

In this “Raj” ,where blood is drawn based on whether you are a bhaiyaji or if your ends with a kar it is very much essential that we practice tolerance and do not allow stereotypes to affect our judgments. It is a matter of individual perception.

And you might just get lucky like me and discover great friends and be left with a life time of sweet memory about people called “biharis”.

OLD IS GOLD

It was a hot April afternoon. The Sun was out in full flare. The sky seemed spotless. There was hardly a soul in the streets as Aditya and his Dad rode towards the Lord Shiva temple.

Aditya, now finally a teenager was going there to pay respect to his deceased grandmother. His grandmother had departed for her heavenly journey a few months ago and keeping in line with Hindu customs the family went to the famous Lord Shiva temple of his city to perform the necessary rituals.

Aditya sat in the front seat alongside his Dad who was busy driving. They left the busy city roads and entered the narrow lanes leading to the magnificent temple. The road was stone laden and not made of tar. It was build by the same king who made the Temple. As they neared their destination the crowd grew. The fact that Indians were deeply religious was evident these devotes indifference towards the scorching sun.

They finally found a place to park their vehicle. The Gods have followers from all strata of society. The Temple was gigantic. Legend has it that he entire structure was carved out from one single rock. But Aditya had seen it so many times that its beauty no longer excited him.

Aditya was a typical teenager. He was restless, hyperactive and like all teenagers he did not like to be corrected. He believed he was now “mature”. Also, like all his peers he somehow resented been told what to do and how to do it.

Aditya’s father was a typical “Dad”. He wanted his son to do the “right” thing. He wanted him to study well, be clean and tidy, sleep early, eat his vegetables, and talk softly. But Aditya’s age always prevented him from taking his fathers words in the right sense. Even their interests did not match.

Aditya’s father was a man of science. Research was his life. Even Aditya loved science but how can he wholehearted agree with his father? Many times his father had corrected him when he enquired out the spiritual or the metaphysical

He always thought him to be judgmental. The generation gap was evident. But being an Indian son he dare not say anything. He just kept fuming from inside and occasionally disclosed his thoughts to his Mother. His mother served as a good audience. She knew it was a phase that every teenager goes through

.

Aditya and his father entered the holy place. Near the entrance there were numerous beggars. The Temple premise somehow incites the benevolent nature of the devotees making the place a hot spot for beggars. But

Aditya noticed in one corner a very old lady. It seemed as if she was as old as the temple itself. She seemed insignificant in the crowd. But unlike everyone else she did not have her arm stretched out. She was seated quietly. After much deliberation Aditya finally discovered that she was a soothsayer, she had no customers; her fragile body suggested that she was hungry for many days. But she still chose not to beg.

“Come along quickly, I don’t have all day” -his fathers words broke Aditya’s analysis. “I had asked to stay close to me. What if you get lost?” Aditya became furious. How can his father think he would get lost?” I am old enough to take care of myself” Aditya thought so but did not utter a word.

Inside the shrine they searched for a Brahmin. They were required to feed a Brahmin to earn punya so that the soul of their loved one may get salvation. All this time Aditya was remembering his Grandmother. His mother being a working lady, her grandmother served as his foster mother. He was the apple of her eye and he loved her dearly. But Alas! She is no more.

They finally found a Brahmin. He sat down, cross legged, and Aditya served him while being corrected by his father for not doing the rituals properly. His father may have objective and protested correctly a nominal number of times but to his son it was one too many times. But still Aditya did not say anything. After the meal the Brahmin got his dakshina. He then had a friendly banter with Aditya’s Dad. His father talked about the scientific reason behind using banana leaves to consume ones food, he then talked about the architectural marvel of the shrine giving it a technical analysis, he further talk about religion and how we should look at it in an objective way and not give in to century old blind practices. The Brahmin was impressed. But Aditya was not.

With all the rituals done they came out of the temple. Aditya distributed alms among the beggars. He turned back hoping to find his father but he was no where to be found. After stressing his vision he found his father near the old lady soothsayer.

His father- a man of science was talking to a soothsayer whom he at numerous occasions had labeled illogical. He could believe my eyes. His father was leaning forward with both his arms stretched out. The old lady was meticulously reading the lines in his palm and making remarks. She first made projections about his past. Aditya’s father nodded to whatever she said. ”It is all true” he said .Then she made claims about his future. With eyes wide open and a beaming face, Aditya’s father listened with great sincerity. When she was done he gave her a heavy tip for her services and walked away as a satisfied man.

Aditya was furious. How can his father not practice what he preaches? He had corrected Aditya so many times now it was Aditya’s turn. As they approached their car Aditya finally burst out.

“How can you do this? You believe is soothsaying whereas you always ask me to think logically. What logic were you trying to display back there?” Aditya was loud. He had never talked to his father like that.

His father, calm as always smiled at him and replied in the softest voice “No son, I still don’t believe in soothsaying”.

Aditya was puzzled. He looked back and got his answer. The old lady who was a minute ago all alone was surrounded by customers. Aditya’s dad knew the mentality of people. They always follow the herd. He simply wanted to break the ice. After his dad’s high praise many passersby where curious to query the “talented” soothsayer. The old lady will not be hungry today.

Aditya made eye contact with the old lady. She smiled; it was as if she was saying thank you. She understood what he failed to realize. She understood his Dad’s true intention. He entered the car and they drove away.

Aditya had always believed his dad to be a scientist but above all Aditya’s father was first and foremost a humanist. His Old man truly had a heart of Gold.

The above is an work of fiction but fiction always draws inspiration from real LIFE.

I AM SCARED

There are times when you are terrified, there are times when you are petrified, there are times when you are mortified and then there are times when you are simply scared.

Given the nature of English Language, the first three verbs used is the paragraph above will strike more to a reader but I think the subtle notion of being scared is more scary, as unlike all others isn’t a reflex to some ghastly action and is not short lived. It is actually a logical conclusion drawn by carefully observing the scenario and stays with you even after the adrenalin stops flowing.

The reason why I am saying all this is because I am truly scared and have been scared for some time and will be scared for some time to come. I wish that I was rather terrified or mortified or petrified as that would mean that I am overreacting and impulsive but as I am simply scared I know better.

The reason I am scared is because of the insanity prevailing everywhere. After the turn of the millennium we have had more devastation and derailment of human life than ever before. It is almost a CATASTROPHY.

So what is wrong with the India and the world in general? I say everything.

With global terrorism at its peak life is very unpredictable. With the prolonged and now ineffective struggle going on in Afghanistan and Iraq the world is literally bleeding. To make things worse the Georgia crisis happened. So now the world has a new bully.

Back home things could not be worse. The recent happenings have given a new definition to the abbreviation IM. The phrase “blow away” has a new figurative meaning. No major town has been spared and the question on everyone’s lip is “where next?”. What has made things worse is the investigation procedure. The “fake” encounter is Muslim populous Jamia area of Delhi has left many fuming. Both sides have there swords drawn. Many suspect that such incident may add fuel to fire. We are walking on a thin line and are fast loosing balance.

Even the Gods are unhappy with us. The Bihar flood has the worst in history. Orissa has faced flood in one side and drought on the other.

In the religious side we are been torn apart. Kashmir is on boiling point. The Amarnath Shrine controversy has now become a call for complete independence. The valley which has been ignored till now is finally erupting in mammoth ways. The inefficient negotiation skills of the authorities has not made things better. Communal violence against Christians in Orissa , Karnataka has lead to loss of face in international media.

To top it all off we have the on going US Credit Crisis whose ripples are being felt all across the world. With financial institutes and i-banks going bust the world is headed for a global meltdown. The major economies are going into a recession and this will adversely affect the developing nations. With crude oil shortage growth is a thing of the past.

The worst part is that most of these troubles are our own doing. We screwed up big time.

I am scared because of all these calamities. But the question is shouldn’t you be sharing my concern? Shouldn’t we all do something?

“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

TCS ZINDABAD

Yes you read it right ……TCS zinbabad. I will say it more more time TCS ZINDABAD.

Before my placement season began I felt an anti-TCS atmosphere in my campus. It was mainly because of the stereotype that TCS suffers form-Trespassers Can and will be given Service (TCS). But now I know better.

A lot has been said about how TCS hires trucks during its recruitment procedures as the number of offer letters can also be brought in using trucks. Bathroom humors like this and many more are common before the D day.

The D day should actually be rechristened as T-day. It is in this day that our desi MNC TCS comes alone but leaves after making 100’s of dream come true. In many campuses this is the first and last company to come as others are not required. That may be stretching things a bit too far but still as long as TCS is there all engineers and computer application students know that their chances of remaining unemployed is slim.

Even during the 2000-01 IT screw up TCS stood firm and now with depreciating dollar, rising oil prices, sub prime crisis and political uncertainty one would have been forced to believe that TCS’s dream run is over but in its characteristic way TCS has surprised every one but hiring if not more but at par with previous years.

But people still say “if not any where else than TCS”, well given the present crisis “no where else but TCS” is more apt. Lets not go into technicalities. Many may argue against my claim by talking about the type of work given there, the environment, the talent there blah blah blah….

I say at least it is giving you a job, a security. It has given all of us a cushion to fall back on. If you really think that you better than this then prove it by getting a “better job”, and even when you do that dare not look down on a TCS employee, as the work for a company which has revolutionized the Indian IT arena.

TCS today is a far of cry than the India of 70’s. A typical Amitabh Bachchan movie of that time symbolized the angry young man, frustrated from the system due to lack of opportunities. But today we can not be that grumpy. The youth of today has immense opportunities. It is a question of tapping it.

I guess bestowing TCS all the honor is not fair. The current opportunities are the results of years of toil by numerous organizations, but some how at least in my opinion TCS is the crown jewel. It has shown the way for others to be inspired and try to follow it.

Yes there are companies “better” than TCS but still no one recruits as many as TCS, no one leaves behind so many smiling faces as TCS, no one can sweep campuses like TCS.

Don’t get me wrong I am not an employee of TCS. I am just an admirer.
TCS zindabad.

IN TWO MINDS

‘Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go
And at the same time had the feeling that you wanted to stay’


Computer science engineering is always a trade off. Some of the greatest minds always strive to obtain the optimal code the best possible algorithm but invariably what they end up achieving is a compromise. They solution is almost always implementation dependent. So we end up with an “optimal” solution for a “particular” test case. So when all is said and done, it is always a ‘trade off’. Its is always about weighing the pros and the cons. It is about choosing one of the many correct paths.

Cut to real life and we have an almost same story. We are always in two minds. We always wanted the best of both lives and curse faith for making us choose one. Some may argue it is like having your cake and wanting to eat it also others may counter argue it is like having either cake or cookies but not both.

But many times it is not about choosing between two good things, invariably we have to choose the lesser of two evils, also no matter what decision we take it will leave someone heart broken and will make us the villain. It is as if we make one decision and are forced to stick with it, but all the time we wish that we had taken the other available path knowing fully well that the other path would have also led to this mind set of regret.

Yes there are a few who always know which path to traverse when they reach a crossroad. They decide; they stick to it; they face the consequences with no regret. But this is also true that such men are a rare breed. But for the majority of us are always in two minds. May be this is what separates the focused for the unfocused, the believers from the quitters, the leaders from the followers and the winners from the losers.

But many times it is not within our control. It is just human nature. It is human to want more and imagine ‘what if?’, also it is human nature to hope against hope and believe that no matter what I will end up fine.

Then again winners are not just mere human beings. They are ‘winners’.

‘Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to win
And at the same time had the feeling that you wanted to lose’

PLACEMENT SEASON a.k.a LIFE

Well it is that time of the year again when emotions run high, dreams become reality, boys become men, wars are fought, blood is drawn and kingdoms are won as well as lost. It is that time of the year which is most anticipated as well as dreaded, it is that time of the year when it is make or break, because after three years of engineering this is what it all comes down to. Yes we are talking about the placement season.

Now like any other engineering college in the country the placement season is a very big deal in my college also. Even those who wanted to pursue higher studies still wanted the security of a good offer under their belt. So throughout the summer the gladiators where busy shining up their armor ready to do battle at the coliseum. For almost all it was the most trying period of their life. With great things expected out of them, the candidates (read warriors) were feeling the heat. But just like day to day life here also everybody was optimist deep down inside. Everyone was hoping against hope that they get placed in their “dream” company.

So as the season started Life, as always took unexpected turns and nothing went according to the “plan”.

On the one hand a few lucky people did get into there “dream’ company but like life a vast majority of them turned out to be “unlucky”. It was a split verdict all the way.

On one side we had people jubilating, they didn’t have words to express their happiness, they were on top of the world, and their hard work had “finally” paid off. Life could not have been better.

But on the hind side we had a whole different story. The unfortunate were tricked by faith, once again. They came so close, they were a whisker away from being fortunate, but the cruel “life” had something else in plan. They persisted but to no avail. They fought but to no luck. Life could not have been worse.

As the days roll by and more companies come to campus, the unfortunate once again try there luck. Lady luck smiled on some, and they got into their new “dream” company but for the remaining it was back to checking out the notice board. As the days will roll by it is very much possible that each and everyone gets a job but still the feeling of failure and the sense of uncertainty will linger on.

Yes in these placement season dreams are coming true but there are many more dreams getting shattered. Yes many people find out how good they are but most find out that they are not good enough. As the days roll by invariably everyone asks themselves this question “Is it really worth it?” .

But this story has always had a happy ending. This track record is what keeps us going and most of the times our faith is FINALLY rewarded. Just like LIFE. Yes, invariably we engineers do not land up in the company we first dreamed off, but as in life ditto here, we win some and loose some but end up believing that we won them all. It may not be the truth but we make ourselves believe this. We may initially take it hard but finally accept our fate and celebrate it. Just like in LIFE.

We camouflage the truth to suit our requirements because

sometimes in life people deserve more than the truth. Sometimes people deserve their faith to be rewarded.

THE WONDER YEARS

“Every man is a child and every child is also a man”. Educative and heart stirring lines like this make the 90’s television serial “The Wonder Years”, one of my all time favorites.

It is about The Arnolds’. It tells the story of a Kevin Arnold- his journey through adolescence and is very beautifully set in the backdrops of the late 60’s and early 70’s.

The show much life the time in which it is based is about discovering Life. Narrated by Kevin’s grown up self, it explains the trials, triumphs and turbulence in the life of a teenager.

The show is multifaceted. It talks about all the aspects of life. The struggle of a family to stay united, the dreams and aspirations of parents regarding their children, the struggle of a teenager to cope up with his ever so rapidly changing world, are all depicted through daily events in Kevin’s life.

The show explores the core of human relationships. In every season it tries to explore the dynamic aspects of our fragile existence. The talks about how brothers can be friends, strangers, enemies or simply brothers can be soul touching. It proves that parents always want the best for their children and no matter how big the child becomes he shall always remain his parents’ baby. It explores a daughters attempt to break free and explore the world on her own but at the same time is proves that one’s world lies along his loved ones.

All these lessons are learned and also taught by those who are truly young at heart. Now “when you are 16”, as it is said so frequently in the show, the “ever so invaluable” lessons may seem trivial and the smallest lessons leave a ever lasting impression. This sense of purity allows the show to truly capture life from a teenager’s point of view. This unabashed approach forces viewers to exclaim “this is my story”.

In a way “The Wonder Years” is everybody’s story. It is a story about care, warmth, despair, despises heartbreak, jubilation, victory, defeat, pain, relief. It is a story about LIFE.

“The Wonder Years” most efficiently captures the concept of friendship and love. It is Kevin’s bonding with Paul which proves that everyone needs a confidant a supporter, an adviser, a helper. Everyone needs a best friend. It proves our craving for a true friend and that our life is incomplete without a friend to share it with.

But if I were forced to choose that one relationship which the show epitomizes then it has to be the relationship which a man shares with the women he loves. For the on and off romance of Kevin and Winnie explains heartbreak as well as heartily love to the core. On one hand we had the young and immature love of Kevin and Winnie and on the other we witnessed the silent but undoubting relationship between Kevin’s parents- Jack and Norma.

Jack and Norma’s love was never projected much in the show. It was a calculated act, because their love was like the wind, one could not see it but everyone could feel it. It proves how difficult it is to keep one’s family together but if you develop it with the person you truly love it will b a cakewalk. Jack and Norma fell in love when they were kids and even after so many years Norma still remained Jack’s girl. Their relationship makes you appreciate your parents and applaud them for trying so hard to keep the family together.

On the contrary Kevin and Winnie represented a different kind of love. The two were since as far as memory goes. Winnie was the girl next door and she was the only girl Kevin ever thought of. Their relationship was a journey in which they discovered each other as well as themselves. The fact that in spite of being together for six years the headed their separate ways, truly asserts the reality aspect of the show and proves just how unpredictable life of a teenager is. It says one more thing, live life in the moment. If you are too entangled contemplating about the future you will ruin your present also.

The series finale is heart touching to say the least. It explains Kevin’s final journey his final step towards adulthood. It depicts his parting away from his family, his love, his hometown to explore life on his own, to become a MAN. The series finale reiterates the importance of family values and the significance of friendship. It also explains that no matter how much we oppose it, one day all of us have to leave our comfort zone to explore the outside world.

“Growing up happens it a heartbeat. One moment you are born and the next moment you may be gone”. What matters is the wonderful moments you spend with your loved ones and the lessons that you learn in the process.

I guess there is a reason that I am able to relate so much with the show. I will be soon entering my final year n college, so my WONDER YEARS are all but over. It is time for me to start looking back in WONDER.

GOOGLED Once Again!!!!

Google take a bow. Once again it has proven just why it is the fastest growing company in history.

Google stands for innovation. It signifies out of the box thinking. Whatever Google does it involves meticulous planning and a foresight which only few can recognize. It has never threaded on the beaten path but has always created a unique path of its own, and when this happens everybody else is left awestruck and kick themselves for not having thought so themselves.

As far has technology is concerned Google has no match. Its recruitment process is THE toughest in the computer world. As a result its engineers always come up with state of the art techniques. So whether it is the ‘Pointing search engine algorithm’ or ‘the g mail file system’ they are all original and ground breaking achievements.

In marketing also Google managers have made more than just a name for themselves. The exploited man ‘need to know everything’ by making their products accessible by ‘Invitation only’. As a result their products appeared elusive and thus everyone wants a piece of the cake. Who can forget Google famous ‘Hoarding recruitment process’ Google wrote an encrypted message in hording all across US which upon successfully decipher yielded a phone number. When the select smart one’s who were actually able to decrypt it , called the number they faced their recruitment interview. Now a company with cool tricks like these will obviously catch the imagination of any computer geek.

But very recently Google proved its mettle in a unexplored area also -‘Strategy’. We are all aware of the Microsoft’s attempts to buy Yahoo. Microsoft offered a price, Jerry Yang demanded more, Ballmer said no more and walked away. But greedy promoters desperate to sell there shares when the going is good decided to start a ‘proxy’ fight to win control over Yahoo.

This deal would not go down well with Google. It of all people will now want the cash rich and market dominator named Microsoft to find a foothold in the online advertisement business. But how can Google stop Microsoft. All the ‘great’ market strategists suggested that Google will fall to Microsoft if the Yahoo deal goes ahead. SO in order to save itself it had to buy Yahoo, a mere advertisement partnership will not be good enough. But Google definitely doesn’t have either the cash or the incentative to buy out Yahoo. So what can it do? Has Google finally run out of ideas, is this the end of the Road?

Not Quite! Google did sign an advertisement partnership deal with Yahoo but t was not just any other deal. It had a fine print which suggested just why Google is ‘Google’.

Google and Yahoo have entered a 3 year deal, but here the catch if a majority of Yahoo’s present board where to be replaced then Google has a right to break the deal and in this case Yahoo will have to pay a huge compensation to it.

What did I tell you about these people? They are amazing.

So now if Microsoft or any other company takes over Yahoo it will have an additional overhead it terms of the compensation it will have to pay Google. This combined with packages for potential retrenchment victims will be more than enough to force the potential buyer to withdraw the offer.

So Google as always has found a way such that it not only gets its cake but also eats it. Wonder who will be ‘Googled’ out of their senses next.

Google take a bow.

SPOT(L)ESS

When you are 20 appearances matter. In fact many times you fell that they are the only thing that do matter. So we have teenagers running from pillar to post trying to find the perfect formula and make themselves look better.

But it’s sad that we live in a world where no one is sure of himself and everybody wants to be somebody else. A world where no one appreciates want they have.

But having said that, I do belong to the same generation and am affected when I appear below par. Well I am nothing great to look at but why lower oneself further. After all acceptances is a social factor and every unfortunately people tend to believe that good looking people are also good people.

Now one of the greatest side effects of my recent infection is that it left quite a mark, literally. So after having overcome the pox I now had to bear its consequences. During my time of suffering I felt a uncontrollable desire to ITCH my wounds. But I was fully aware that if I itch I will scar. So I tried very hard to ‘Do the right thing’ but Alas! I, a mere mortal was defeated. I did itch and now have a “spot-full” face.

Well I did not itch much, or at least thought so. But my small indulgences have left permanent (but I am sincerely hoping against this possibility) prints.

So now I have quite an encrypted face. The best part is that the spots are so placed that the give me a rather funny new look. So I have the biggest spot in the centre of my forehead, in between my eyes, which very much looks like a natural bindiya. The feminine resemblances do not stop there; I also have a spot in the left corner of my nose which gives the impression of a nose ring. My cheeks are light checkered fields with black, brown, light red colors thrown in for some dazzling special effects.

Well they are my doing but I did not deserve so much. Well at least now I have a unique face. My doctor mother says they will fade away soon and I hope for my sake she is right.

But whatever be I have so many spots on my body now that mujhe kiski najar nahi lagegi

“POOR MURPHY” OR “POOR ME”

Murphy’s Law has proven itself once again. Something could have gone wrong and like always it did go wrong.

After a rather forgetful end semester examination it was that time of the year which is most cherished by people of my ‘type’. It was summer time and it was certainly going to be an extremely eventful summer. With a very important phase of my life coming up this summer was ‘do-or-die’. I mean I had to pull up my socks, kill all the doubts, rise above everyone’s inspection and try to touch the sky. Yes it sounds too melodramatic and clichéd but I am an optimist (or at least I believe myself to be one) .

But who could I have dared to dream, how could I have forgotten that I am cursed like Murphy. So one bright summer morning I discovered a tiny red inflammation near my neck. Being the ignorant I am I ignored it. It took a visit to the hostel barber where it was pronounced ‘aap mein maa agaye hai’, which upon translation means to have got chicken pox. So I did the obvious and ignored it once again. But my body could not ignore it any more. They doubled, tripled so much so that I started to loose count. With no potion left I accepted the truth and was reminded once again that I have Murphy’s luck. So bags were packed in record speed and a train headed home was boarded, so much about ‘touching the sky’.

Well Murphy did not leave me so easily. Mr Lalu also disappointed me. His brain child ‘The Garib Rath’ left its passengers even more garib. The train was 3 hours late. This was surprising as mine was the starting station. So restless, sleepless and irritated I decided to roam about the train. For some weird reason all the passengers keep looking at my face. It was as if some were shocked and the rest were frightened. Thinking there was something wrong with the people around me I returned to my berth. As I was about to be seated I caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. Holy @##! I had transformed into mirror cracking material (pun intended). My RBC’s and WBC’s were falling against the might chicken pox causing verisella virus. My face was like a crater field. There were lumps all round, at least a hundred of them. No part of my face was untouched and I had a feeling that the rest of my body was no better (a feeling validated in the near future).

So afraid of not being chased and called a Frankenstein I head for my berth, pretending to sleep, I laid face down covering it with my hand. But I still had no peace. I am Murphy, remember? The TT was the first strike, then numerous junk food vendors but the height was when a group of eunuchs woke me up and demanded reimbursement in their own ‘tantalizing’ manner. The night became darker but there was no sleep for me. The train rolled on. No matter how fast it went it was not fast enough for me. All along my berth wobbled, the guy nest to me snored louder than a full strength orchestra and I developed a great feeling, an uncontrollable feeling, an insurmountable feeling to ITCH my wounds but I could not do that.

The train finally rolled into the destination station a good five hours late. My dad was there to receive me. The only thing good about the journey was that it was over. I was very happy to be back with my doctor-mother. She is my magician and I was desperately hoping that she casts a spell which frees me of Murphy’s curse.

Poor Murphy….correction poor me.

I must thank a friend who on knowing of my condition kept calling me and inquired of my health. Her voice was the only relief during the journey

I AM ALL ALONE

Well as things turned out instead of spending the summer in Hyderabad I was left lurching in the dark ( a bit too melodramatic :P). So not knowing what to do, I decided to spend the summer in my hostel by ‘studying’ (pun intended) for my upcoming placement session.

So after a grueling 6^th semester when we were tested to our core (again being melodramaticJJ) I was left in no man’s land with very few human souls in sight. So after amazingly fighting off the rigid opposition by my mother I was finally all alone.

Well this is only the beginning of a long journey of solitude. Quite frankly I am excited because this is the first time I will be completely on my own without the comfort of family or friends. Being all alone is a process of self discovery and rediscovery. In such a situation you are free from the unwanted opinion of others, you are free to think straight as your thought is the only one that falls on your ears. You are free to explore unexplored paths and find out what you really want.

The environment I am in has been favored by great mind like William Wordsworth, great leaders like Winston Churchill. In fact if you think of it at some time or the other every soul irrespective of how big or small he is needs and invariably takes out time to introspect. So why not give it a try.

Well I agree that you need to have people around you who are more experienced and wiser, who guide you through thin and thick. But once a while no formula irrespective of how much it is tried and tested will fail. This is where your personal innovation, your inner gut feeling comes into play. Moments like these where you have to make the decision all by your own are the ones which really test you. It is for tests like this that being alone is very important (or at least I think it so).

After writing so much I cannot help to remember the words of one of my friends-‘Solitude is enjoyable for two days but not for a single second more’.

Hopefully I will not discover it to be like this.

MICROSOFT UNCONQUERED

‘Unconquered’- this was not the word I was hoping to use once everything was said and done. But life has a funny way of springing up surprises, and this time it was not a very pleasant surprise. I had actually thought of the title ‘Microsoft Conquered’ (after reading a post of a fellow blogger with the same name) but for now I will have to deal with these the extra two letters.

After a procedure which was delayed so much that no logic could explain it, I was left high and dry. For nearly two months I was entailed in a quest which was to end with me empty handed. So as it turned out after three trips to ‘the city of joy’, after fighting off a trinamool bandh and spending a night in a dirty dormitory, I ended up from where I started. In short I DIDN’T GET THROUGH.

Sorry for sounding like a sour loser but could not help it. But now that I have a chance to look back I do feel better. Yes it would have been great if I had got through, but the truth is it didn’t happen so simply get over it and prepare for the future. It’s easier said than done but I accept it as life is never quite easy. My initial reaction was that the sky had fallen but now I realize how naïve of me to allow this minor set back affect me.

Then it struck me ‘Failure is the stepping stone to success’. I never wanted to fail but I did, now the best I can do is use it for my self improvement. It is a awful feeling and I will do anything not to feel this way again. So there you had it, my new found inspiration.

How I mould myself and use this failure to my advantage is a thing of the future. For now the most valuable lesson I have learnt is to be content with what you have. It is good that one desires to be better and strives for success, but win or lose always be happy with the result. No point stressing yourself out trying to win always because quite frankly you CANNOT win them all. So savor what you have. Also ‘He has a plan for everyone’( from the movie Constantine), so don’t worry too much just keep doing what you love to do.

I realized this very deeply that this test was just one of the numerous i will be taking. Just like all the ones i had taken and the ones i will be taking this was not FINAL. Neither were the damaged unrepairable nor the possible fruits permanent. It was just a one off thing which will come back.

So what if I lost out on a 7 digit paycheck, in the words of my friends

I LIVE TO FIGHT ANOTHER DAY